We’ve all seen or been asked the question, “If you could have one superpower, what would it be?” I used to always answer “invisibility.” It sounded so fun to be a fly on the wall, listening to secret conversations, watching people in private moments. OK, that sounded way less creepy in my head, but you get the idea. Invisibility always seemed so cool, but feeling invisible is another story.
Before I had kids, I never knew about the invisible mom syndrome (this might be a real thing or I might have just made it up). Do you ever feel like background noise in your own house? I do and, frankly, it bites. And from what I hear from my mom friends, I’m not the only one. Momming is hard. Amazing and beautiful in so many ways, but also really effin hard.
So here are Five ways to deal with the invisible mom syndrome.
1. Connect with other moms. How good does it feel when you share something and hear “me too!” in response? Feeling unappreciated and unseen? You’re not alone. I’d venture to guess all moms feel like that at some point, too. Talk to your mom friends about it and have a good laugh. Or cry. Or both.
2. Do something for you. This is a huge one for me and actually the main reason I got into direct sales. I needed something just for myself, but never really dreamed I’d find the fulfillment that I have in being successful in direct sales. The relationships I’ve made with other direct sellers, team members and customers who have become friends, it’s all been amazing. It’s given me a sense of confidence that I needed and reminded me that I really am a total badass, even if my kids don’t see it. (I do try to explain my badassery to them, but they don’t buy it.)
3. Talk to your kids about it, when it’s age-appropriate. They need to know that you’re not just mom. You’re a person with interests and feelings and you want people to ask how your damn day is, too! Help them learn to express gratitude for all the things you do for them.
4. Get your spouse or partner on board. If you have a spouse or partner, talk to him or her about how you’re feeling. Ask them to model the behavior you’d like to see in your kids. Let’s be real here … I’ve got some chatty kids. Dinner is usually them taking turns talking about their day and my hubby and I usually save our chatting for later. But it doesn’t have to be just about them. Make an effort to talk about your day, too. Get your significant other to ask you questions and express appreciation for you in front of the kids. They need to see that. Don’t have a significant other? Lean on friends and family members to model that same good behavior.
5. Know that this will pass. One day your kids will mature and see you as the awesome, super cool person that you are. This is what I tell myself. As moms, we’re all in this together. I see you, girl!
P.S. Now I know the coolest superpower is flying.